The Angels Saga

Volume 20

Morning Stars III Short Story Collection

Wally Must Die & Other Tales

by

Daniel Thomas Andrew Daly

Copyright 6184 SC (2021 CE)

The Corporation

Wally Must Die

Raphael and Melanie

The Date

Raphael and Michael

The Date 2

Traffic Task Force

Jumpin' Jumpin'

Mitraphon Magician's Club

Wolfgang and the Heart of God

Nimorel the Goodly Christian Wife

The Date 3

The Corporation

Calculator Blues

The Date 4

The Bradleys

Sword of Andorra

GREG DALY FANFICTION

A Knock at the Door - Continued

A Knock at the Door: Greginstein

Sentapol Wars: Jock Piallago

Sentapol Wars: The Optimizer of the Junkyard

Sword of Andorra 2

Sword of Andorra 3

The Corporation

Earth was at peace. The Galaxy was at peace. Somewhat. But figures move in society at times, to bring a new vision. The Arachitects of the Corporation in the physical universe crafted out an enterprise which would last for ages. It was to control, become the ultimate capitalist endeavour, and be were wealth and luxury would abound, through control and manipulation of the gullible citizens of the galaxy. In time liberation would come, from one of the corporation, an innocent Wally, who would with a Liberator throw back the power of the corporation and reduce it's glories to ashes. It would rise again though, and beset the galaxy with its ambitions, but in time it would pass away, another example of the pride of man, another example of the foolishness hubristic people impose upon society. Raphael of Eternity suspected Saruvim involvement in the Corporation but had no way of resolving the veracity of that speculation. Regardless, the Corporation was a power and a legacy in the history of humanity which cut deep, but ended its wrath in time, as better ways returned to the heart of the children of Adam and Eve.

Wally Must Die

Wally Must Die & The Rainbow Parade + Woke Agendas - YouTube

https://abrahamism.angelfire.com/wallymustdie.html

Raphael and Melanie

Melanie the Cherubim. Sporty Spice. Popular lady. Raphael felt drawn to her. 
'Do you like cricket?' asked Raphael, to Melanie, sat opposite him in the Mitraphora cafeteria. 
'Cricket,' said Melanie, pouring a glass of strawberry and Melit water Juice. 'Is for schumucks like Daniel the Serpahim.' 
'My sources tell me you have a crush on Daniel the Seraphim,' said Raphael. 
Melanie looked at him, startled. Then she continued pouring her juice. 'He's obnoxious,' she said. 
'Oh, so you like him,' said the ministering angel. 
'He parades himself as a refined Englishman, when he was barely born there,' said Melanie. 
'Oh, she really likes him,' said Raphael. 
'He thinks he's the biggest Spice Girls fan in creation,' said Melanie. 
'It's true love,' said Raphael, smiling. 
'I like his smile,' she said, giggling a little. 'When he's being cheeky. He's a true Spice Boy.' Suddenly her eyes had lit up, and she was dreaming of Daniel. 
'Good gosh. She's smitten.' 
'What, you think he'll date me?' she asked Raphael sincerely. 
'He's stuck on Meludiel,' said Raphael. 
'Bitch. She think's she's so cool. Gospel singer to the glory of Jehovah. Well we're mainstream, and we're far cooler than tryhard Gospel wannabes.' 
'Oooh, jealousy,' said Raphael. 
'Humph,' said Melanie, sipping on her juice. 
'Why don't you ask him out?' suggested Raphael. 'He might like you.' 
'I'm too shy,' said Melanie. 
'Number one hits in the UK, and she's too shy. What has the world come to,' replied Raphael, smiling. 
'Fine,' said Melanie. 'I will then.' 
'You do that,' said Raphael, and grinned at her the rest of the luncheon. 

The End 

The Date 

'Of course, Valandriel has only moderate ambition. I'm always reminding him of our focus. He never carries through with half of our agenda items,' said Daniel. 
'Right,' said Melanie, staring at Daniel, barely listening to what he was saying. They were in Mitraphora cafe, having a lunch date together. 
'I think he might have a separate agenda. Probably teamed up with Dameriel or someone on the side,' said Daniel. 
'Of course,' said Melanie, again, lost in his dreamy eyes, not listening seriously. 
'He has all these investments he doesn't talk about. He thinks I don't know, but I have my sources.' 
'I'm sure he does,' said Melanie, gazing joyfully into the good looking Daniel's face. 
'Anyway, what do you want to eat?' asked Daniel. 
'I think he's a lovely guy as well,' said Melanie, having forgotten what Daniel was speaking about, lost in love with the angel she was looking at. 
Daniel looked right at her. 'Right,' he thought to himself. 'Greatest British pop girl band of all time, and she's a bimbo. Wonderful stuff Danny.' 
She just smiled and smiled and smiled in response. 

The End 

Raphael and Michael 

Michael was bored. The firstborn Seraphim of the Realm of Eternity was bored. Gabriel's tenure had been exciting and interesting, and Gab had called on Michael a lot. But Raphael didn't seem to need to rely on him so much, and the firstborn was at odds for things to do so much. Technically, he was the overseer of the first disc of the Realm of Eternity, Zaphora. And while that was busy enough work, he had it under control. Time to drop in on Raphael. 
'Yo, Raph,' said Michael, dropping in on the rap singer. 
'Yes,' replied Jay Z, the archangel Raphael. 
'How's it hanging. Is the rappin still getting the clappin,' said Michael. 'Yo dude. Are you still rude.' 
Raphael looked at Michael. 'The Beastie Boys have admitted that while Judaism has had a fair number of rappers, they are NOT based on inspiration of their prince. You have work to do. You're no Eminem yet white toast.' 
'But I'm funky with the ladies and I'm chunkie with my great beats,' said Michael. 
'Please stop. Before you give hip hop a bad name,' said Raphael. 
'I'm fly and I'm cool and I ain't no fool,' said Michael. 
'Cindradel,' buzzed Raphael. 'Call the white coats.' 
'I don't rap with a stammer coz I'm cooler than Hammer,' said Michael. 
'Are you bored?' Raphael asked Michael. 
'Shitless,' replied Michael. 
'With rap that bad I could only imagine,' said Raphael. 'Look, I can assign you a project. Special Task force stuff.' 
'I'm all ears,' said Michael. 
'Do a comprehensive review of traffic regulations in all the 140 Seraphim discs, and make recommendations for where we can bring uniformity of law. As simple as that.' 
'Sounds cool,' said Michael. 'Can I borrow Cindradel?' 
Raphael glared at Michael. 'Only on Thursdays.' 
'Cool,' said Michael. 'Can I use the special projects office?' 
'Go right ahead,' said Raphael, and Michael was off, to the bar upstairs, to listen Dio and Cheryl Cole all night, to celebrate his new job. Something to do at last. Something to do. 

The End

The Date 2

'Yes, I am a bimbo,' said Melanie, staring into Daniel's eyes. 'And you are my master supreme.'

Daniel felt awkward. They were on date 2. 'Youre master supreme,' he said.

'Well, for today anyway,' she replied, and picked up her McDonalds hamburger and started eating. 'But I have a lot of master supreme's,' replied Melanie.

'How the spice girls fanbase grows I suppose,' replied Daniel. 'Date them, do em, get a new fan and on to the next one.'

Melanie looked at Daniel through squinted eyes. 'Who told?' she said, smiling.

'Oh, the tactics of womankind has been known by masculinity since the beginning,' replied Daniel. 'We are aware of much of the secret business of women. Me? I buy books. I read them. Disclosures are sometimes made. Especially in journals and the like.'

'We advertise things as chick flicks and the like. Men rarely take an interest,' said Melanie. 'Usually uninterested. You know, football and the like. Keeps em occupied.'

'I study your kind,' said Daniel. 'Know quite a few of your key plays in the game,' he replied, tapping his nose.

'Quite obviously,' she replied. 'Your paying right?' she asked. Daniel nodded. 'I'll have some fries also, and a coke,' and as Daniel stood and walked to the counter to buy Melanie's request, he acknowledged her little joke in playing Daniel for man's traditional job of paying for meals. She had a sense of humor, and was obviously not quite a bimbo. An interesting lass indeed.

The End

Traffic Task Force

'You look bored,' said Cindradel to Michael in the Overseers Office Task Force room.

'I'm not bored,' replied Michael, flicking a tiny cocktail umbrella around the desk.

'Traffic is important. We have several areas where they are likely to agree with universal application,' said Cindradel. 'I've identified 14 discs which are likely to agree with some universal standards on things. Go talk to them.'

'Sure,' said Michael. Cindradel handed him the slip of paper with the suggested practices written on them and the discs at hand. Michael excused himself, and went off to his dorm. He spent some time packing and looked at the slip. Soon enough he was at the airport late in the day, and off to Mitraphora. Months passed, and then years, and discussions were slow, but after as much compromise could be made as possible, he had worked out quite a fair degree of conformity to roundabout practices. Mitraphora had been supervised by a replacement for Raphael for the time being, but it was mostly road authority public servants he had his discussions with. It was often the same old arguments and stresses on unity, but invariably they all decried big brother and that they did things their way. Each Seraphim always had their own mind Michael noted. Soon enough he was back in town in Zaphora, and back with Cindradel, chatting about results. Raphael was present.

'Quite a degree of uniformity achieved, but not perfect,' said Michael, handing out a published report in book format of his work. 'They like the way they function in their own style, but certain changes could be made through referendums and public committee discussions and such. It was a lot of work, and challenging, but I have some results so far.'

'Good work brother,' said Raphael. 'We'll dine out tonight, you and me and Cindradel. I'll look over this report and read it all, and we'll think about the next phase for the task force. Probably not roundabouts the second time, and maybe some mid-disc runs instead of earlier ones.'

'Whatever you think,' said Michael. They dined, and chatted, and in reflection Michael felt the work was not that intellectually demanding, but it was genuine work, and he enjoyed doing it well enough. He took a sabbatical for a year, enjoying time with Elenniel, but soon enough he would be back at it, and focus on this for a thing in the early years of Raphael's tenure as overseer of the realm of eternity.

The End

Jumpin' Jumpin'

'You know Raph,' said Nimorel. 'You sometimes are cool. When you are playing B-Ball. I'm not sure if you've noticed but Jay Z is not meant to be J C. It's been building up, the opinion is all.. Some of the brothers and sisters got used to a certain way from Raph in his humanity. It was a chillin' experience, and the songs live on to this very day, and we are not really always deliverin''

'You too, huh?' replied Raphael from the overseer's desk. 'Reconnecting with the divine after a very different human experience was fascinating Nimorel. It made me know how much wisdom was in a being. In a different phase to gain new experience, and choose to relax in some ways not normally done. Vice Verse to excel in spiritual excellence, which we all should do, when its new day dawning. Some did that from my observations.'

'Be that as it may,' replied Beyonce, flipping through and issue of Vogue. 'We need to be seen in style from time to time. To ensure our career works retain a decent selling point for the growing realm. Like doing a B-Ball shoot with Kanye. It's the logical thing do to. The Overseer and his great ancient buddy taking time out with the kids. It would accomplish both of your objectives, to be cool but also caring.'

'I'll think it over' replied Raphael.

'Fine,' said Nimorel. She continued reading the magazine. 'A fellow Seraphim has asked me out to a Zaphona City club tonight. You don't mind do you?'

'Sure, whatever,' replied Raphael, waving his twin away. 'Enjoy yourself.'

'I'll be going,' said Nimorel.

Raphael continued on with his work that morning, but after 10 minutes looked up in the direction which Nimorel had disappeared to and said 'Which Seraphim?' He was suddenly very suspicious.

The End

Mitraphon Magician's Club

'I am the Archimage,' said Raphael.

'What's this adventure then?' asked Talzudiel. 'Another your hairbrained D&D lame strolls through a mediocre landscape were Cleric Raphael trys to heal the poor lost souls.'

'Hardly,' replied Raphael. 'Nimorel has agreed to be Polgara the Sorceress.'

'And who are you?' asked Talzudiel.

'Belraphael, the hidden wizard of the Vale of Aldur. I was adopted by Beldin on one of his journeys and showed a passion for the will and the word. We are to explore some new caves in the south of the vale, after recent quakes, were were-ghouls have been showing up. It is a commision from Aldur to vanquish the fowl fiends.'

'Wonderful,' replied Talzudiel. 'No gold, but more XP. Should be fine.'

Raphael opened up the D&D box of 'Belgariad Chronicles', and they got to starting the game.

'You should note,' said Valandriel, the games master, that there is a goal to this mission. You must find the hearth of the were-ghouls lair and, be warned, you will likely need charms to assist you. There could be all sorts of Torakian curses present beneath.'

'Scary,' replied Talzudiel.

'You are only level 785,' said Valandriel. 'And you've been stuck there aeons, Talzudiel. 'You never join the fighting very much. Always letting Raphael and Nimorel do the hard work, and then you come in when they've nearly finished to do your bit. I'm surprised they tolerate you in their fellowship.'

'He's second rate. But useful at the end of the fight when we've had enough,' said Nimorel.

'And then he just gets a healing spell if he loses any health,' said Daniel. 'And comes out scott free after a while. Cheap points maker. Not guts, no glory Talzudiel.'

'But I live to fight another day,' replied Talzudiel. 'And you've been killed several times Daniel. You're only on level 234 at the moment. Years behind any real threat for your dimwitted Paladin.'

'Shut it,' replied Daniel. 'I died in glorious battles with Malloreon scum. You were hiding behing Polgara's skirt the whole time.'

'Children,' said Valandriel. 'Let us begin.'

And so Belgariad Chronicles: The Quest of the Were-ghouls, got started, and the animation was as lively as you could imagine.

The End

Wolfgang and the Heart of God

Wolfgang ventured further along the road.

'IT'S STICKY BITS UP AHEAD.'

Wolfgang continued on. He met up with 'Cyclotron Man'.

'Stop Theophany. You are not permitted beyond this point.'

The Theophany stopped. 'By whose decree?'

'The Decree of Cyclotron Man.'

'What power do you have to enforce your decree?' asked Wolfgang.

'The Power of Infinity,' replied Cyclotron Man. 'I have endless insults prepared to mock you if you tread further. And much harassment of your person. I will zapp you with my tazer for starters.'

'Sounds interesting. Could be worth the struggle,' said Wolfgang, looking at the Candy Rainbows in the field ahead.

'If you allow me to accompany you off to see the wizard, I will forego your punisment,' said Cyclotron Man.

'You may accompany me. Am I off to see the wizard?' asked Wolfgang.

'You are now. He's at the end of the Green Brick Road,' said Cyclotron man.

'I thought it was yellow,' replied Wolfgang.

'Copyright concerns. It's green,' said Cyclotron Man. 'Now eat your candy rainbows, and let's get on with this adventure.'

'Very well father,' replied Wolfgang.

'I PREFER CYCLOTRON MAN,' said the Eternal Spirit.

Wolfgang marched on they came to a bend.

'I'm Dorafina,' said the girl with blonde curls.

'I thought it was Dorothy,' said Wolfgang.

'Again, copyright concerns. We need to be careful in this heart of God what we borrow from the world. They could complain. We like to keep things original and all,' replied Dorafina.

'I understand,' replied Wolfgang.

Wolfgang marched on with Cyclotron Man and Dorafina.

'Are you in need of a heart, Cyclotron Man?' asked Wolfgang.

'The next guy needs a brain,' replied Cyclotron Man.

They carried on and Mikaelios the Angelic Warrior appeared.

'I am dumb,' said Mikaelios. Nobody understands me, and I don't understand them very well.'

'You keep it simple. But probably too simple,' said Wolfgang. 'People are dumb. But not that dumb. They get excited when they can solve problems and be smart. If it's too easy they don't respect you very much.'

'I need an upgrade,' said Mikaelios. 'A Knowledge Certificate.'

'Like I said, he needs a brain,' said Cyclotron Man. 'Stupid angel.'

'And you could use a heart,' retorted Mikaelios.

'That's what he's looking for,' said Wolfgang.

'Let us continue,' said Dorafina.

And they walked on down the road.

They came to the next hero.

'I am Zed. The last man,' said Zed.

'Isn't Y the last man?' asked Wolfgang.

'That – doesn't really make any sense. But you are right. Sorry, Sorry. Forgive me.'

'You need courage,' said Wolfgang.

'And that's how the story goes,' said Dorafina.

The wizard appeared.

'Daniel the Seraphim. I should have known,' said Wolfgang.

'I'm dreaming this dream too,' said Daniel.

Daniel the Seraphim, who was currently slumbering in the Realm of Eternity, murmured in his personal mind that that particular comment had been noted.

'Now, you obviously want to get back to Kentucky, Dorafina.'

'Something like that Wizard of Australia,' replied Dorafina.

'Call it Oz. Downunder. Something like that,' said Daniel. 'Click those shoes, and there's no place like Kentucky.'

Dorafina did so and disappeared.

'Mikaelios? Brain? Very challenging. Read this book. Morning Stars. Should help you out.'

'Looks good,' said Mikaelios, and clicked his shoes and disappeared with the book.

'Zed. You are a classic,' said Daniel.

'I feel better,' said Said Zed, and clicked his shoes, and was gone.

'Now, Cyclotron Man,' said Daniel. 'You will be picking up sticks and stones for a decade. It's your penance to learn humility. See these poor suckers,' said Daniel to the people suddenly appearing in the field, picking up sticks and stones. 'They're learning humility the hard way.'

'I feel sorry for them,' said Cyclotron Man. 'That would exhaust my circuits. But it's a heart I need.'

'And you just got one for showing some empathy,' said Daniel. 'Now click those stonkers.'

Cyclotron Man duly did so and disappeared.

'This has been fun,' said Wolfgang. 'But what am I in need of?'

'A hug,' said Daniel, and came around and hugged the old man. 'Keep at it old coot. See you in your dreams again some time.'

And Daniel clicked his shoes and disappeared.

All turned dark, and the corn started singing a croony song.

'END OF THE ADVENTURE,' Said the Spirit.

And Wolfgang's Tale in the Heart of God was done.

The End

Nimorel the Goodly Christian Wife

'Cookies,' said Raphael. 'Why do I want cookies?'

Nimorel picked up an oatmeal cookie covered in white chocolate and took a bit.

'I'm a goodly Christian wife. I make my husband cookies,' replied Nimorel.

Raphael stared at Nimorel. He picked up a cookie. He took a bite. 'Tastes good,' he said, tilting his head slightly.

'Thank you, goodly Christian husband.'

He put down the cookie. 'Do you want something?'

'Just to serve my goodly Christian husband,' replied Nimorel.

'Has Jesus been preaching again? Peter maybe? Paul?' queried Raphael. 'Is there something I'm missing.'

'Eat the damn cookies,' said Nimorel, putting on her earphones.

Raphael nibbled on the cookies, and returned his focus to the overseer's PC.

Nimorel sat there. She stared out at Zaphona city.

'Good view,' she said.

Raphael looked out. 'Privileges of being overseer,' he replied. She nodded. She continued staring out and ate another cookie. Raphael had had enough.

'What do you want? Out with it,' he demanded.

'You know,' she said.

'Yes,' he replied.

'There is something.'

'What is it?'' he asked her.

'It's a little thing. Nothing major. Can I have the keys to the gold Porsche.'

He stared at her. 'It's expensive. I don't want it damaged. Where do you want to go?'

'With Kelly. Around the city tonight.'

'Picking up ballers, no doubt,' replied Raphael.

'Only for dancing. I'm a goodly Christian wife after all.'

Raphael looked at the cookies. 'You scratch it, you buy me another one.'

'Fine,' she said, putting out her hand.

'I should know better,' he said, reaching into the desk and getting out the keys to the gold Porsche.

'Remember. It's limited edition. Cost me a fortune. They don't replace easy.'

'Enough with the lecture. And I'll bring you cookies tomorrow. And the day after,' smiled Nimorel.

'Fine,' he said, and he made to give her the keys, but pulled back his hand. 'I really don't know.'

'Give me the damn keys, Raphael.'

'Fine, have the keys,' he said, and dropped them in front of her. She instantly picked them up and stood, walking off.

'Nim,' he said.

'What?' she asked.

'Dark chocolate next time,' he said.

'Funny,' she replied. And was gone.

Raphael ate the cookie. 'Cookies,' he said, shaking his head. 'Whatever next?'

The End

The Date 3

'You know, Daniel. You have dreamy eyes,' said Melanie.

'Why italian?' asked Daniel.

'I like spaghetti and meatballs,' replied Melanie. 'But there are some other balls I'd like to be eating tonight.'

Daniel looked at her. 'That's forward. More secrets from your women's book of hidden wisdom I take it.'

'Got a tonne of them,' replied Melanie. 'You know, Danny, you could be a model.'

'Flattery. Classic move. Thought that was our department. Are you after something?'

'Only to gaze into the eyes of true beauty,' replied Melanie.

The waitress came and they ordered Canneloni instead.

'What are you really after?' inquired Daniel.

'I don't want to be your lover forever, Daniel,' said Melanie. 'I'm only after a bit of fun for a season and a time. Maybe an epoch and a time. But then I need a bodyguard, a bestie, a confidante, a male buddy who's got my arse.'

'It's not a bad arse,' said Daniel.

'I need someone to watch over me,' said Melanie. 'Dad does a good job, but I need someone with pull to be on my team. A spice girl can make a lot of frenemies.'

'Not enemies?'

'I'm too nice,' she replied.

'I see. Well, can do. I've been the biggest Spice Girl fan for yonks. Don't mind watching out for you Melanie Chisholm.'

'The start of a beautiful friendship,' she said.

'Well it could be,' replied Daniel the Seraphim.

The End

Calculator Blues

'I need a calculator,' said Nimorel.

'Why?' asked Raphael.

'I want to calculate my net worth. Give me your calculator,' replied Nimorel.

Raphael at his desk picked up his calculator. 'These machines are powerful computational devices. I don't think you can handle one. Your hopeless at math from recollection.'

'I'm brilliant at math,' replied Nimorel.

'Ok. What's zero plus zero?' asked Raphael.

'One or something,' replied Nimorel.

'I see,' said Raphael. 'And what is zero times zero.'

'I don't know. Two I guess,' said Nimorel.

'Right. No calculator for you. I fear the results,' said Raphael.

'Asshole,' replied Nimorel and stormed off.

Later.

'Where you been, B?' asked Raphael.

'Shopping. Bought my own calculator. You can't stop me. Man,' replied Nimorel.

'You'll get everything wrong.'

'BS. I'm rich. I know it,' said Beyonce.

'Of course you're rich. But you'll fudge all your figures,' replied Raphael.

'Then you do it,' said Nimorel.

'I'll use my calculator,' said Raphael.

'Well I'll use mine. And we can compare results,' replied Nimorel.

'Bank details?' queried Raphael.

'And share and asset values,' said Nimorel. 'Just the major stuff.'

They set to work.

A few days later.

'I'm rich,' said Nimorel. 'Sextillions of dollars and credits and things.'

'You have about 500 billion all told,' said Raphael.

'How you figure?' asked Nimorel.

'Debts. Arrangements with producers and product promotions. Sponsorship programs and charity. You are in pretty heavy on a lot of commitments,' he replied.

'I forget things like that,' said Nimorel. She looked at her calculator. 'Stupid calculator,' she said. 'Honey, let's eat out tonight.'

'If you can afford to. Just remember one thing.'

'What's that?' she asked.

'Don't bring your calculator. Or I'll end up paying thousands.'

'Funny,' she said. 'We'll end up paying thousands anyway. I fancy rich affair. French cuisine.'

Nimorel left the room.

Raphael picked up her calculator. 'Good model,' he thought. He looked at the price sticker still on it. I read $4,999. 'Figures,' he said. And got on with the rest of his day.

The End

The Date 4

Kelly Rowland and the Rap Singer Nelly were accompanying Daniel and Melanie on a double date.

'You have dreamy eyes, Daniel,' said Melanie.

'Sister, don't be so easy,' said Kelly. 'He'll want to get into your pants if you lead him on too much.'

'She's only got average tits, Dan,' said Nelly to Daniel.

Daniel blushed.

'Thanks Nelly,' said Melanie. 'Very honest of you.'

'I like her tits just fine,' said Daniel.

'Thanks,' said Melanie, and blushed.

'Kelly's got better tits,' said Nelly.

'Shut up bro,' said Kelly. 'Or we'll talk about your schlong.'

'It's huge,' said Nelly. 'A lot to sink your teeth into.'

Kelly poked her tongue out at Nelly.

'You have a big schlong Daniel?' asked Melanie. 'I'd love to see it.'

'Sink your teeth into it, huh,' said Kelly.

'Oh yeh,' replied Melanie.

'I'm faithful,' said Daniel. 'Fornication is a thing of the past for this puppy cat.'

'How big is it then, dude?' asked Nelly.

'Big enough,' said Daniel. 'Can we not talk about tits and schlongs. This should be a civilized affair.'

'It's date BS,' replied Kelly, pulling out some lip gloss.

'We could have some fun later, Danny,' said Melanie. 'Measure your schlong.'

'I don't think so,' said Daniel. 'Meludiel would not approve. I am on her prayer list, and I am keeping good faith with my current saviour. Won't let her down.'

'Pity,' said Melanie.

'We can canoodle later,' said Daniel. 'I'm not a square, babe. I can have fun.'

'Sounds ok,' said Melanie.

Their meals came.

'I'm planning on making you an eternal buddie, Daniel,' said Melanie. 'I like your style. So do the Spicies. You are quite a steady fan. See you regularly at the concerts.'

'Got a lot of your limited edition vinyls,' said Daniel.

'Any of my stuff?' asked Kelly.

'Of course,' said Daniel. 'Not a huge amount, but some of the old classics. Originals too.'

'Where you a fan?' asked Kelly.

'On Earth I collected a lot of music in general. Worked hard for it. Knew it would pay me back in eternity. Has as well.'

'What about mutual masturbation?' blurted out Melanie.

'Melanie,' said Daniel.

'Square,' said Kelly.

'Dreamy eyes,' said Melanie.

'Dude, you need to know when a lady is keen. Get a leg up, bro.'

Daniel just ate his carbonara.

The End

The Bradleys

'What's it called?' asked Amelia Bradley.

'It's a typewriter,' said her mother Jacinta.

'What do you do with it?' asked Ronan Bradley.

'You type,' said their father Alan. 'I'll show you.'

He put some paper in the typewriter and started typing.

'Where's the plug?' asked Rachael Bradley.

'It's manual,' said Jacinta. 'Human power.'

'Is that even legal?' asked Amelia. 'That's an abuse of our workers rights. Manual labour. Everything is automated.'

'You kids are that pathetic aren't you,' said Alan. 'I swear, I'd probably have to wipe your own asses if the toilets didn't take care of it these days.'

'Eww. Wipe my own butt. With what?' asked Amelia.

'Toilet paper,' replied Jacinta.

'You put paper up your arse?' asked Ronan. 'That could be a thrill.'

'Unbelievable,' said Alan.

'They're your children,' said Jacinta.

'Our children,' said Alan. Alan looked at the kids. 'When I was young we worked on paper with pens. All you guys use is computer technology.'

'What's a pen?' asked Rachael.

'A writing instrument,' said Alan.

'A writing instrument,' repeated Rachael slowly. 'News to me.'

'Pathetic children,' said Alan.

'Your kids,' said Jacinta.

'Our kids,' said Alan.

'If they were Daly's they'd be smart,' said Jacinta.

'You calling us stupid? That's insulting,' said Amelia. 'I'll take you to court for parental abuse.'

'The law these days,' said Alan.

'Tell me about it,' replied Jacinta.

* * * * *

Jacinta was doing some manual work at Coles. She hated it, but needed to get some fitness in. Alan came in. He was dressed in an Elephant outfit.

'Why are you dressed like that?' asked Jacinta.

'Fancy dress party,' said Alan.

'News to me,' said Jacinta.

'You weren't invited,' said Alan.

'Charmed,' replied Jacinta.

Alan looked at the deli. 'Bacon,' he said.

'We have some idiot,' replied Jacinta.

'I ate it before I left,' replied Alan.

Jacinta sighed and packaged some Bacon.

'Thanks sweetie,' said Alan, and left.

Jacinta sat down. Her boss came in. 'Work, Bradley. We pay you to work.'

'It's all done,' she said.

'Well I don't know. Try to look busy,'

'Brother,' replied Jacinta, getting off her arse.

Amelia came in.

'What you doing? Shouldn't you be practicing.'

'I'm bored,' said Amelia. She looked at the deli. 'Bacon,' she said.

'Good grief,' said Jacinta. 'Your dad just ordered some.'

'That's for his party,' said Amelia.

'Oh, I see,' said Jacinta. 'Fine.' She packaged some bacon.

'Seeya,' said Amelia.

Jacinta sighed and wiped down the bench. Time passed. Ronan came in.

'You too, huh,' said Jacinta.

'Hi mum,' said Ronan. He looked at the deli. 'Bacon,' he said.

Jacinta didn't always swear. Today she did.

The End

Sword of Andorra

Daniel the Seraphim was with Melanie C in Andorra.

'This church is antiquated,' said Daniel about St Julia's Catholic Church in San Julia de Lora in Andorra.

'Remember, we are here for the Russian Orthodox service,' said Melanie C. 'My Russian is quite good these days, and I am good friends with Hilda Sambora from the church. Be good.'

Daniel and Melanie sat quietly throughout the service, and while Daniel knew Russian well enough, Orthodox Christianity was not his specialty. He was Noahide after all. Melanie and Hilda chatted a while, after which Melanie and Daniel retired to a San Julia de Lora streetside cafe for afternoon tea. A model was present. She looked fabulous. Sunglasses on.

'Stop gawking at her, Daniel,' said Melanie. 'We're dating here.'

'Sure,' replied Daniel.

'I don't mind, sweetie,' said the model, taking off her sunglasses. It was Iggy Azalea.

'Shit,' said Daniel.

'Charmed,' replied Iggy.

'Your all sporty,' said Melanie.

'Soccer promo for San Julia da Lora's team,' replied Iggy. She looked at Daniel. 'Want to train with me honey?'

Melanie looked at Daniel. 'Fine. I'll be in the hotel room.' And she picked up her purse and left.

Daniel was embarassed.

'Come on,' said Iggy.

Daniel followed, and they made their way to the nearby football field. They kicked a ball around a while, then noticed the noise.

'What's that?' asked Iggy.

Daniel looked in the sky. 'Jets. Russian and Korean. North Korean.'

'They're violating Andorran airspace. Must be a treaty thing.'

'I doubt it,' said Daniel. He noticed the jets flying down and landing in the hills of Andorra. And then the explosions began.

'What? It's a frikking invasion?' asked Iggy.

Soldiers soon appeared, and an Andorran guard shuffled Daniel and Iggy to a nearby shelter.

'We're at war,' said a police officer. Certain remarks were made by our president, recently, and Russia and North Korea swore revenge.

'Arm us up,' said Iggy. 'We'll go take on their base.'

'We will?' asked Daniel.

'We're the oldest people in creation, Daniel. The Children of Destiny. We set the standards,' replied Iggy.

'I do know,' said Daniel in reply.

They were armed up, and were soon in the hills. A tunnel was in sight, with two guards. A big russian and and a Korean. Daniel and Iggy approached.

'Mano a Mano,' said Iggy to the Russian.

'Da,' he replied.

Daniel did not like the Koreans martial arts. He was getting his arse kicked. But soon enough, after Iggy shouted 'Come on Daniel San, he did the Karate Kid Crane Kick, and the Korean went flying. Iggy and the Russian paused to look at the resulte, and Iggy punched the Russian in the gut.

'Into the tunnel, buddy,' said Iggy.

Inside the tunnel Daniel noticed comics graded on the tunnel wall. 'Astro Boy 2 in Korean,' he said. 'Worth a bit. I'll make an offer.'

They found Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin at the War Table, looking serious.

'You boys having fun?' asked Iggy.

'We will take a dozen or so lives, and then we will retreat,' said Vladimir.

'The insults were personal,' said Kim. 'Andorra will pay. Unless you can defeat us at Sword of Andorra.'

Daniel and iggy looked at the large board game on the war room table.

'It is Shogun. Advanced Shogun, based on Andorra.

'Samurai Swords,' said Iggy. 'I'm good at it.'

'We will see,' said Vladimir.

As the Russian soldier, clutching his gut, and the Korean soldier, clambered back in to watch the duel, beer was drunk, jokes were made, and Iggy won.

'You play a hard game, Aussie girl,' said Kim.

'We will only take 3 lives,' said Vladimir.

'5 Trillion for the Astro Boy and no lives cost,' said Daniel.

'Done,' said Kim Jong Un.

Later, when the Russians and Koreans had left, Daniel was with Melanie again. 'So how was your Day?' asked Daniel.

'Unbelievable,' replied Melanie C.

The End

GREG DALY FANFICTION

A Knock at the Door

CONTINUED

Greg: Henry, the critters have done their work. Time has passed and I have become 'Enviro-Man'.

The Scene shows James on the Couch then flashes to Greg in a colour Green Outfit, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Greg Says. 'I have a Mission Henry. And I need Your Help. The Critters have a Job, now. To rule the world. And Enviro-Man needs a sidekick. And you are the chosen one, Henry. You are the Chosen One.' Focus on James: 'I'd rather repair my broken light-saber. Where is that thing anyway?'

Christie: Doing dishes in the kitchen. 'Enviro Man. We are out of groceries. Go down to Enviro shop and do some shopping.'

Greg: 'I need some cash, Enviro wife.'

Christie: 'Use your card, enviro man. It saves the environment by being reusable.'

Greg: 'The Critters shall approve. Come on faithful sidekick of many adventures. We're going to the shops.'

James: 'Blasted Critters. And Fitzroy Smith was coming over as well.'

A Knock at the Door: Greginstein

James sat on the kitchen bench. He was sullen.

'My favourite light saber is broken,' he said. The lightstaber was broken on the bench.

Greginstein, all in green, with a collar and leash, which Christie held, was in the back behind the glass sliding door. She smiled at James and pulled Greginstein away.

The scene flashes to the mall. They are at 'Star Wars Repair Shop'. James presents his lightsaber.

'It would be cheaper to replace it,' says the ST Repair Man. James nods. He surveys the shop. Christie, holding Greginstein on a leash, stands next to sullen James as he investigates light sabers. He chooses one.

'I'll take this one,' he says.

'Good choice,' said the Repair Man.

James is sitting at the kitchen bench. The new light saber is before him. He is still sullen.

Greginstein is eating dinner. He plonks his fork into a pork chop and picks it up and says 'Brains' to James.

James just stares at Greginstein.

The End

SENTAPOL WARS: Jock Piallago

Jock Piallago works for the Sentapol Administration Bureau which is full of bastards who like to mess around with frustrated Sentapol citizens They like to give citizens the runaround and there are often endless forms they have to fill in, as the SAB likes to collect data and fill their records departments with lots of information of Sentapol activity. Jock delights in giving what he thinks are two lowlife thieves a hell of a runaround when they need certain approvals to register an abode which they plan on using as the basis for certain questionable activities. The Sentapol Security Network marked these thieves as troublemakers, and they are assigned a status of 'To Be Troubled' by the SAB.

SENTAPOL WARS: THE OPTIMIZER OF THE JUNKYARD

Near the thieves suburb of Sentapol is 'The Junkyard'. The Optimizer lives in the Junkyard. The Optimizer has a very optimistic outlook on life. The optimizer can take any old criminal, reform his way, and turn him to the service of collecting 'Junk' for his yard with his special own brand of mind control and indoctrination. He puts a spell on em. The optimizer gets his cronies to scour Sentapol on a regular basis, like beachcombers, and bring back the shizz to his yard, where he looks it over, often gets 'Grag the Fixer-Upper' to restore some items, and then flogs them off to make some cashola. The Optimizer collects Bajan Silver for which he makes coins for the Junkyard sales shop, and is interested in acquiring this certain supply of Bajan Silver a couple of Sentapol lowlives have an interest in.

Sword of Andorra 2

Seth son of Adam was busy on the football field of San Julia de Loria in Andorra with Iggy Azalea.

'Andorra is a formidable empire,' said Seth. 'I chart the empires of mankind. I have extensive wall charts in my mansion in Eden on the various early Empires of Men and their successes and failures. It is the duty of the Children of Men to build civilization and establish rule of Law. Some do better than others.'

'Yes, father,' replied Iggy.

'The Sword of Andorra is a powerful communication device of the Samurai Swords community to build Andorra's ambitions. Andorra is throughout various new earth planetary bodies and in the discs of the realms. My current contract with Samurai Swords is to further develop the legend of Sword of Andorra to build confidence in Andorran's in their empire.'

'That's where I come in, right?' replied Iggy.

'Indeed, daughter Iggy. You displayed admirable braveness in your encounter with the Korean and Russian diabolicals. The docudrama of the event has been seen worldwide. So in my duties I wish to take the bull by the horns and go the extra mile.'

'Launch a war on Moscow,' suggested Iggy.

'Not quite that drastic. A major gaming event here in San Julia de Loria, but with a twist. High Stakes Rollers. I will be offering up significant land holdings of my own, but I want a lot of big prizes on offer, and as many interested despot diabolicals as I can get. You are to be the spunky maiden promoting the affair.'

'And this is to build Andorran confidence? You sure it's not a cash grab?' replied Iggy.

'Andorran confidence. Nothing more, I assure you. My funds are vast. I'm old and well established you know. As the Deciarchal fathers of Mankind we see to the necessary stimulus to ensure mankind's continued advancement.'

'I see,' replied Iggy.

'Good. Now let's play footie, and we'll discuss over tonight's meal.'

The plans came and the Event soon got under way. Hitler and Churchill were the big snags, and Iggy sweet talked them both into the affair, and Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un were attendant for the second stoush at it. It was celebrated universally, and many copies of Sword of Andorra sold. And for months later Iggy was playing the game with Andorran officials and high society families, and was following Seth's intentions of building confidence in this people and civilization. She learned a lot in this time and grew to appreciate that there were people in fact in charge in mankind who had some idea of what it was all about. And that fascinated her.

The End

Sword of Andorra 3

The Sword of Andorra Cosplay Wargames were under way. Melanie C and Hilda Sambora were dressed up as Ariella Warrior Nuns with Paintball Rifles, and were guarding the Catholic Church in San Julia de Loria were the Russian Orthodox services were held. Andorra had been divided up into sections, and the gameplay followed as when sections were conquered they fell to the team conquering them. 7 teams were playing the game.

'The great thing is,' said Hilda. 'That if we get killed, they can use us again as reinforcements.'

'Unless our team goes too far down and we start to lose,' said Melanie C. 'So keep your wits about you.'

Daniel came up the street with Iggy Azalea. They were on Team San Julia de Loria, and they were doing well.

'We've captured 3 more territories. Seth is a great strategist. He knows how to play this game well,' said Daniel.

'I played it a lot with him,' said Iggy. 'It's one of his current passions.'

'All's quiet today,' said Melanie. '3 weeks in and I think we might win.'

'6 soon,' said Daniel. 'Time out for the evening. I'm looking forward to your cooking again Hilda.'

'I aim to please,' smiled Hilda Sambora.

'You any relation to Richie Sambora?' asked Daniel.

'Funny,' smiled Hilda. 'Like that's an original question. I did the family tree connection a long time ago. He's distant, but we're naturally the same clan.'

6 rolled around and they again had dinner at Hilda Sambora's place. She was a fine cook of European cuisine. Daniel enjoyed her meals.

'We'll win this if you stay alert,' said Melanie. 'The frontline troops know what they are doing, but we best not be caught unawares.'

'Gotcha,' said Daniel, saluting Melanie.

Iggy and Daniel were called to the frontline the following day. Over the next couple of weeks they faced tense action up alleyways and street corners, on rooftops and roads, and even mountain passes. At one point Daniel let off a shot at what he thought was an enemy troop, but which turned out to be a farm chicken, which was splattered in green paint.

'Nice shot turkey,' said Iggy. 'That chicken is fried.'

'Shaddup,' replied Daniel.

The games progressed for a few more weeks and, gradually, Seth the Field Marshall in charge of Sand Julia de Loria, they zeroed in on the town square in Andorra La Vella, were Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un were of the Capital's Team, the last fighters still active. Daniel and Iggy cornered them, and managed to hit them in faces of all things.

'I am not impressed, Daniel San,' said Kim Jong Un. 'I had a perfectly good crotch you could have claimed your victory blow with.'

'I'll be back,' said Vladimir Putin to Iggy, and with that Seth marched in and claimed victory for San Julia de Loria.

The Wargames were concluded, and a major documentary had been filming the entire event from stationed cameras, and as they watched some of the highlights that evening, Melanie spoke up.

'I know you like the New Classic, Daniel. But don't forget the old spice,' said Melanie.

Daniel glanced at Iggy Azalea, who smiled softly at him, and then continued his meal.

'I think,' said Seth. 'That Daniel has a crush on Iggy.'

'Faithless beast,' said Melanie, and kicked Daniel under the table.

'Jealousy,' said Hilda.

'Next Wargames could be extra spicey, then,' said Seth. And they all chuckled a bit.

The End