Satellite Comics

Volume One

Copyright Noahide Books

Stories:

Blue Zapp

Cat Magic

Mage Mayhem

Pirate Clobbersby

Blue Zapp and the Space XXX Crystal

Chapter 1

Blue Zapp surveyed the edge of Macarthur on its northern boundary. Slug was down in the walking alley. He was with Brawler. They were obviously up to no good. Blue Zapp clutched his copy of the Criminal Code of the ACT, latest edition, and started the trek down the grass alley between fields. Slug and Brawler were obviously well aware of his approach, but made no decision to leave. Blue Zapp arrived, and examined the situation. They were looking at a crsytalline object on the grass.

'What is it?' asked Blue Zapp.

'No idea,' said Slug.

'Go figure,' said Brawler. 'Some new age thing, but we can't pick it up. Attached to the ground or something.'

Blue Zapp got down on the grass and cleared away the grass and soil around the base of the crystal. Soon enough he had cleared the entire base, but the crystal stayed stationary, suspended in the air.

'It's hovering there,' said Blue Zapp.

'Monitoring device of the Government,' said Slug. 'Got to be. They have tech like this these days.'

'Don't think so,' said Blue Zapp. He noticed, then, the SX symbol on the Crystal. It was a less used design, but he knew it.

'Space XXX,' said the Blue Zapp. 'It's an object of Space XXX. The marker is on it.'

Slug kicked it, and said 'Dumb organisation. They never frikking employ anyone from the lower class. Bastards. Come on Brawler, let's leave.'

Blue Zapp watched them go, then took out his mobile and rang the Canberra brance of Space XXX.

'Is the object bothering anyone?' asked a lady.

'It's just sitting in the alleyway,' said Blue Zapp.

'Is it by the edge of the alleway. About a metre from the fenceline?' asked the lady.

'Pretty much,' replied Blue Zapp.

'Then the horses shouldn't be affected too much.'

The alleyway was actually part of a horse trail. Its purpose.

'Is this all legal?' asked Blue Zapp.

'I can put you through to our legal department if you like,' replied the lady.

'No, never mind. Bye,' and he hung up.

He pointed his mobile at the object, and took a picture. Interesting. A mystery, somewhat resolved, but he'd keep his eye on it. Time to go home.

Chapter 2

Blue Zapp farted. It smelled. He should modify his diet. He stretched, got out of bed, went to the toilet, had a shower, and got to his breakfast, turning on the TV. Standard Sunrise chit-chat. Monique Wright, how cute you were. Blue Zapp had a crush. Finall, toast and orange juice complete, he turned off the TV, and went to his main PC. He clicked open his portfolio page, and examined his shares. Things were doing ok, and he spent half an hour making 2 investments in shares from some recent dividends. Work finished for the day, he brought up the Space XXX website and started examining. He was looking for signs of the crystals. He couldn't find anything. He took out his mobile, and rang Space XXX.

'Blue Zapp here,' said Blue Zapp.

'Kermit the Frog here,'replied the lady he had spoken to yesterday.

'Seriously, I'm the superhero Blue Zapp.

'Come on dude. How can you get any lamer than calling yourself Blue Zapp. What, did you wait till all the actually cool superhero monikers were taken, and then chose from what was left? Blue Zapp? Hardly fear inspiring.'

Blue Zapp listened. 'Lady. I'm the Blue Zapp. It's a solid name. Put me through to management.'

'What's the issue fearsome Blue Zapp,' she replied.

'Tart tone in your voice,' said the Blue Zapp.

'Hey, I'm Aussie and proud. What's the issue?'

'The crystal,' said Blue Zapp.

'Putting you through to Special Operations,' said the lady. Blue Zapp waited.

'Yep. Roger here,' said a voice.

'Blue Zapp here,' said Blue Zapp. 'This crystal in Macarthur.'

'We have a public brief. Write to Space XXX and we'll send you the info.'

'I need more than that,' said Blue Zapp.

'We have clearing from the Government,' replied Roger. 'It's in our brief.'

'What's it all about?' asked Blue Zapp.

Roger went silent. After a while he spoke. 'Do you work?'

'I receive shares,' replied Blue Zapp.

'Just a sec,' said Roger.

Blue Zapp waited. 5 minutes passed, but he hadn't been put on hold.

'3 years experience as a superhero,' said Roger eventually. 'Reasonable.'

'You are on my website are you?' asked Blue Zapp.

'Something like that,' replied Roger. Hold on a sec. I'll just check with the bossman. Be about 5 minutes.

Blue Zapp waited. He watched the clock on his PC. 7 minutes passed. Roger's voice returned.

'Do you want to work for Space XXX?' asked Roger.

Blue Zapp went silent. 'Why?' he said after a while.

'We're looking for your type. Responsible sorts. Astronaut sorts. Military is often used at this stage, but you seem to be what we need now. Superhero work is the kind of thing which also makes the astronaut we're looking for.'

'Why employ me though?'

'Coz, dude. That Crystal is part of 'Earth-Net'. There are several of them around the globe. We're gonna need them in a hurry a whole lot pretty damn soon. There are things not human coming towards us. And we've examined their ships from our telescopes as best as possible, and those laser cannons are definitely laser cannons.'

'Oh,' said Blue Zapp. 'Alien invasion.'

'We don't know where there from, and there forces are not astronomical, but we need to be ready. They are probably looking to colonize this planet for their people. The main assumption at this stage.'

'So it's war in the galaxy?' asked Blue Zapp.

'What we're expecting. And don't tell anyone. Public fear. They will find out soon enough anyway.'

'I understand,' replied the Blue Zapp. He put down the mobile for a sec, looked at the picture of his mother on the wall, and put the mobile to his mouth. 'I'll come in tomorrow.'

'Glad to see you then,' said Roger.

Blue Zapp looked at the stars that night. Superhero work in Macarthur was one thing. But alien invasions? That was not in his manifesto in any way, shape or deed. Time to prove himself a hero indeed.

Chapter 3

'Why are we in Tharwa?' asked Blue Zapp.

Matilda scratched her head, and looked at him. 'Listen big blue. You shined in training, and we've got work for you.'

Blue Zapp gave her a puzzled look. Soon a ship was coming down from the skies, which Blue Zapp anticipated as everyone was looking upwards. It landed, and a doorway opened. Blue aliens came out, armed with weapons. Matilda nudged Blue Zapp, and Roger said 'Go on.'

Blue Zapp went forward.

'You look like Lobo,' he said.

The blue aliens looked at each other, and looked at Blue Zapp. 'We've spoken English for a week,' said one of the aliens. 'We are well trained warriors, and adapt well. We do not know this Lobo.'

'He's from DC Comics,' said Blue Zapp. 'Don't worry about it.'

'You are there negotiator?' asked the alien.

'I guess so.'

'We are colonizers,' said the alien. 'As we explained, our weapons are necessary if attacked. We are not hostile.'

'I see,' said Blue Zapp.

'We were told that we need to talk to a regular thinking member of society who has normal perspectives on this issue.'

'And they suggested me did they?' asked Blue Zapp, looking at Roger and Matilda.

'You know the common man, they said to us.'

'Probably,' said Blue Zapp, looking at the aliens.

'We like to colonize and grow our empire. We breathe oxygen. We have gold, and intellectual property to trade with. Unique cultural offerings. We are looking for a base of operations, and a number of places in Australia to settle townships. Ultimate population of approximately one million of our species. Can this be negotiated?'

'Explain the cultural offerings,' said Blue Zapp. 'Is it worth Australia's while?'

'We have similar bipedal functions to your own species. The best of our culture would logically prove entertaining enough to warrant a hosting from your planet.'

'You can offer us foods?' asked Blue Zapp.

'Probably some designs with your own foods rations we can offer, but we have strict policies on inter-galactic quarantine. It would be best not to plant our own shrubbery on your world. At least not yet anyway. Much discussion first.'

'Obviously,' replied Blue Zapp. He turned, and started walking back to the others. 'Shouldn't be a problem dudes,' said Blue Zapp, and rejoined Roger and Matilda. She nudged him and whispered 'Well done Bluey.'

The aliens bent down and took a sample of some grass and soil, and returned to their ship, when went to the skies.

Roger, who had been pointing a receiving speaker at them, and listening to the conversation on headphones, said 'Should prove what they wanted.'

'Become a hero, fight crime, meet aliens. All in a day's work,' said Blue Zapp.

Matilda clutched his hand. 'Well done lame Blue Zapp.'

That much encouraged the great blue wonder.

The End

Space Unlimited

Chapter 1

'He's changed his name again,' said Matilda.

'Who has changed his name?' replied Blue Zapp, not looking up from his copy of Canberra Weekly. They were at McDonalds in Civic in Canberra, having breakfast.

'Eldorado Musketeer. He is now Jack Elfwind. And Space XXX has changed its name to Space Unlimited. Says in this report he has been thinking it over and needed to change things once more to something a bit more appropriate.'

'Elfwind is an interesting surname,' replied Blue Zapp.

'His birthname is Alan Elver,' said Matilda. 'Closer to it I suppose.'

'Am I getting that payrise?' asked Blue Zapp, looking up from the magazine.

'It's still being considered,' replied Matilda. 'One year of solid service, now, and you have a good reputation.'

'What I work on,' replied Blue Zapp. 'Anyway, the Space XXX or Space Unlimited or whatever you want to call us has a mission. And it's time we got going with the next phase of that mission, isn't it?'

'We're too new,' replied Matilda. 'There are discussions with the United Nations, especially as datafiles have been flowing in about the structures of the known galaxy and its planetary bodies. You could imagine a plethora of alien races, but, apparently, no. We are not quite alone in this universe, but not that far from it. Some planets out there with life, but not as many. And from what I've been told the number is quantifiable by any human mind. So most of the planets are uninhabited and devoid of life, and like our recent visitors who terraform and grow their empire, that is indeed going to be the objective of humanity from all the discussions so far. But thing like this need a well worked out roadmap in advance Bluey. The last thing we want is a territorial intergalactic war with our neighbours.'

'Naturally,' replied Blue Zapp, sipping on his OJ.

'Oh,' she said. 'One thing commented on by Luna Goddess. She wants to chat with you about an issue. Nub of Magical Power in Canberra idea, she said. Said Space XXX and the Intergalactic Organisations were part of something bigger.'

'Right. Get to that now,' replied Blue Zapp. He stood. 'Here's looking at you kid,' he said, and pinched her cheek, depositing his rubbish in the recyling bin, and moving on with his day.

SATELLITE COMICS

Cat Magic: Brilliant Conceit

Fifi LeStrange is a happy girl. She lives in Canberra, Australia, and has no worries. Boyfriend, belle of Padua High School, and a secret. She turns into a cat when the sun goes down. It's not a problem, though. All her family are the Cat people. An ancient french curse condemned Pierre LeStrange and his seed to wander the streets of Paris at night as giant pussy cats, and Fifi has proven no exception to this rule. But Fifi is a naughty pussy cat. She likes to prowl around the neighbourhoods, nicking things. Trinkets which she brings back home and purrs over. The heroes of Satellite catch her one fine evening, and Fifi is taught to amend her ways. She joins the team and her amazing athletic abilities help her leap over walls and catch criminals, something which she takes a liking too. She is 'Cat Magic' and her brilliant conceit thinks her the finest and proudest of the were-beasts. From her days at school with her best friend Charlize and her nights on the prowl till she is uncovered and joins the team, Brilliant Conceit introduces Fifi and her dark magical world as a Were-Cat.

SATELLITE COMICS

Mage Mayhem

Mage Mayhem controls the four elements, but only has backwards affects on them. He is a wildcard in the magic world, and the elementals need to work together to bring his magic power under control. He is a misfit, not a supervillain, and when he practices his magic in his coven, it sometimes gets out of control and does weird things, like rearrange furniture and move things out of place, and this is prevalent in the landscape were his presence often causes rocks and other objects to gravitate into the air as he walks past, before collapsing to the ground. The wind often goes psycho when he is in a fowl mood, and water can freeze up or boil, or spurt into spouts at his presence. He daren't go near fire because it gets animated and flys around in sparks at his fowl moods. When he is calm, all is good, and the elementals teach him the art of relaxation and peace and give him relaxation music to keep Mage Mayhem of Bredbo under control. His name is Sebastian Merryweather, and he is a pleasant person, working on a farm in the Monaro region, and he is fond of collecting comics also at Impact comics, playing Role Playing Games, and doing Cosplay as Gandal from Lord of the Rings. He is tallish, black hair, and dresses in robes a lot when he is in his magical element, and has a wand, which is mainly for show.

SATELLITE COMICS

Pirate Clobbersby

Pirate Clobbersby is a juvenile delinquent who borrows boats on lake Burley Griffin and hijacks them for a while to sail around the lake. He often pilfers things from the boats, but usually returns the boat to where he took it from. He is a constant problem for Canberra would-be-heroes, and Blue Zapp sees him from time to time driving around town in his 'Pirate Ship Clobbersby', which is a beat up Holden Commodore sedan with elaborate ocean and pirate based artwork. He hangs around Kid Punk a lot, and is a pain to the Canberra community. His sole mother is always on the grog and barely discourages his wayward ways, usually too drunk and busy with her latest boyfriend to notice or even care. He's a broken home child, but he doesn't care anyway, and likes the freedom of doing his own thing and being a bad boy. As he grows he develops more of a liking for the criminal life and moves up to Sydney and gets his own yacht with which he often carries out smuggling and other black market trades. His name is Sean Clobbersby and his mother is Jane Clobbersby, his father missing, believed to have gone north chasing a more likeable lady. His father is Stanley Clobbersby, who returns to Canberra when Sean is 21 and living in Sydney, and Sean moves back to Canberra to try and work it out with the old man, who wants family again.